The bump in the road has grown.
4 years ago
Friday, January 21, 2011
Missing Mom
Fourteen years sounds like a long time, it is. I think of all the change our family has gone through since then and it seems like forever. I look at Banner now and think, she was just a tiny 1 year old when Mom died. I'm sad that Banner never got to know her wonderful grandma. I wonder quite often if I would be different if Mom were still here. I wonder how different my girls would be. Would Dad and Ben still be here? I like to think she would be proud of us and how we've stayed close. I know for a fact that she would adore Hannah, Jonas, Gabriel, Maren, Esme, Leah and Lily just like she adored all of her grandchildren that she knew. I think she would have loved Rebecca, Andrew, Brooks and Becky and would've welcomed them into her family. She would be so proud of Noah, Whitney, Zack and Leslie for serving missions. Because she is gone, we've had the opportunity to do grandmotherly things for our nieces and nephews. The crocheting, knitting, quilting and just loving the kids is something that we have enjoyed doing in her place but we can never really fill her shoes, she was an amazing woman and I miss her every day.
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4 comments:
i forgot that yesterday was the anniversary of her death. i always forget that day, maybe i subconsciously want to, i don't know. i'm glad you remember for me, though, because it is good to think of all the great things about mom. i do still miss her, i miss them all.
Thank you for posting this, I can't talk or write about mom this week, but am so glad you wrote a little with great love.
I wrote the date 1/21/11 and remembered. I was at work and filling out a paper. I then told my partner that my MOm had passed away 14 years ago today. She asked me how old I was and I poured out the whole story. And I cried for the first time at work in a long time. I can't believe how powerful that whole process was powerful, sad, beautiful, loving, amazing, character building and the list goes on. We are different because we went through that and she made us different in the way she raised us. I love her and miss her. I am glad I remembered that day.
I don't like being a part of this group of counting the years after a parent has died. What beautiful thoughts on how if she were here1
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